why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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