look no pants
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
