New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
