If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
