I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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