yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
