Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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