For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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