I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am naked and annoyed.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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