paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
