I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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