Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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