he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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