if you like me you must not know who I am
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
