Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
