So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
