did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
