Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
