dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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