He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Randomize
