There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
