how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
