I got her a Nickelback box set.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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