People in love make me want to vomit
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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