Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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