You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
