whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
