I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
