I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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