He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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