i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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