careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
