I'm really into asian looking animals
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
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I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize