All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
