Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
