I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
