Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
