I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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