we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All the doctor said was why
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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