He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
