so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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