I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
