Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize