What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
