I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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