grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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