I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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