Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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(919): View more from North Carolina

She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."

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(860): View more from Connecticut

This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.

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(740): View more from Ohio

My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.

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(785): View more from Kansas

He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.

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(503): View more from Oregon

You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector

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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I had a tail.

(615): View more from Tennessee

Why?

(847): View more from Illinois

...why not?

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(250): View more from British Columbia

kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar

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