dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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