Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
