The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So here I am, sexting at work.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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