it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize