last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
