There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
