and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
