I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
