Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?