I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.