oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper