Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
