Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
