he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
