someone get that fucking seahorse.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
