Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
