i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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