I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
