Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
