Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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