ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
