just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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