Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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