Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
