If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
