Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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